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16 February 2008 @ 03:57 pm
Fan Fiction: Kiba/Sakura, Prompt.  
Title: Desperate Measures
Approx. word count: 1750 words
Rating: PG
Pairing: Inuzuka Kiba x Haruno Sakura
Warnings: Panties and smooches
Other: For lilmisfits8811. The prompt was, "strawberry flavored edible panties." This was intended to be a quick and easy drabble, but it really ended up as this big, long dialogue piece. Anyway, here you go. (:

"They still haven't caught any."

"What? Are you serious?"


"Jesus, of course they haven't! Are they goofing off, or..." Sakura quit while she was ahead. She was more baffled than anything after suggesting that Shino and Sasuke would goof off. "You and I will do the fishing tomorrow, okay, Kiba?"

"Sure, though I don't think they're any better off than we are. Shino told me that Sasuke had gotten into some poisonous berries. Its affects are similar to the curse of Montezuma, he said."

"You're kidding me," Sakura deadpanned.

Kiba then added with oodles of sarcasm, "It's a good thing we have a medic nin."

Sakura wanted to tear her hair out by the roots. By some miracle, she was able to contain herself, and quite well at that -- she took a deep breath and folded her hands over her stomach, practicing a certain composure that Tsunade was never able to accomplish. The ANBU-clad form of Kiba's body took a seat next to her, nice and cozy, and his head dipped back against the tree trunk behind him. He grunted in pain when his head landed against a piece of bark that jutted out.

"So, what do we do about food?" Sakura mumbled. "We've basically run out. Are you serious about Sasuke?"

"Er, yeah."

"I hope he's drinking that river water. He'll get dehydrated." She leaned forward and massaged her temples, and she felt an extra hand run up and down her back in empathetic comfort.

"Akamaru and I will go hunt for something to eat after we've built up enough chakra," Kiba offered, but his voice sounded grim. His famished stomach emitted a low growl, and a more faint rumble sounded from Sakura's not much later.

Smiling sheepishly, Sakura withdrew her fingers from her temples and put her hands on her knees. "Well, no, we still have one other option. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this."

As she leaned to her right to dig through her essentials sack, Kiba leaned forward as well in anticipation to get a glance at what she was getting. He choked on air when she pulled out a pair of pink underwear.

"What the hell, Sakura. We're not eating your panties."

"Sh-shut up," she muttered. "This isn't underwear."

"I'm not stupid. I know what girls' underwear looks like, believe it or not."

"Tsunade-shishou gave this to me. She said that it serves well as inconspicuous food in case of emergencies. Should we get ambushed and all of our supplies taken, well, at least we'll still have a pair of underwear to eat."

Kiba rolled his eyes and averted his glance to Akamaru. They exchanged weary looks; having counted on Sakura to be the only remaining reliable one, she went and suggested that they eat underwear. "You know what, Sakura, you can just enjoy that for yourself. Akamaru and I will wait for tomorrow and go hunting."

Sakura was too preoccupied with deciding on how to go about eating the edible garment to catch his generous offer, and the fact that he was unheard did not go unnoticed. Kiba couldn't say that he blamed her. He and his canine companion watched the young woman as she tentatively opened her mouth to chew down on the fabric. It was almost in there before she wrinkled her nose and pulled it out.

"No way, I can't be doing this right. Is this right, Kiba?"

He shifted his body closer to hers so that he could get a better view. After getting over the weirdness of the situation, he was intrigued. His knee fell sideways so that it relaxed against Sakura's thigh, and their arms touched in gentle curiosity. He took the undergarment in a calloused hand and observed it like an object of pure science. Then, gripping the sides with his fingers, he stretched it repeatedly to determine how easily it would fall apart.

Sakura groaned and folded her arms over her chest. "This is stupid. This is probably just a prank Tsunade's pulled on me. I mean, really, underwear that you can eat? Why not a sock?"

"No, no, we're gonna get this." Kiba was a tenacious man. He yanked both sides with a force that ripped it in two. He handed one half to the female next to him and instructed her to look at the material, and see if it was just fabric.

"Kiba, I'm a medic, not a forensic scientist."

"No way. Women know these kinds of things."

"Are you implying that I spend my free time with knits and fabrics? I find that sexist."

"Oh, fine. Whatever. I'll eat the damn thing."

Sakura gasped. He was the one faced with the challenge of eating the unknown. Akamaru groaned and curled his paw over his face so that his eyes were covered. Kiba muttered something about sharp incisors before tearing a hole in the fabric with his teeth. He yanked out a chunk of fabric and began chewing, face twisted, expecting the worst. He calmed down, though. Sakura wanted to know why.

"It's actually not that bad. Hard to chew, but it tastes like, uh, uhm," he had difficulty finding the flavor. "Rasp-- no..."

Sakura eyed him warily before bringing the garment close to her lips. She bit off the tiniest piece she could, finding that it tore more easily than regular cotton, and then noticed the uncomfortably unique taste it had to it.

"Strawberries," she mumbled.

"Yeah, that's it."

"I hate it."

"Fine, I'll just take your half, then," Kiba insisted. He snatched her edible garment from her hands and put it in his lap for later feasting.

Sakura rolled her eyes and refrained from saying anything. Maybe he was okay with eating things that weren't meant to me eaten -- especially girls' garments, as a guy -- but she wasn't. As if burning up what little of it that she ate in a flash, her stomach grumbled, asking for more.

She closed her eyes and pressed the side of her head against Kiba's shoulder. The squadron had developed a fairly strong bond since their establishment of ANBU force regulars; Shino and Sasuke formed a stoic, understood friendship as Sakura and Kiba were simply compatible after a couple of years of maturation on their parts. Past relationships only made them stronger, and their combination of one medic nin, two tracker nin, and the sharingan made them that much more formidable.

The medic nin watched her companion consume the edible panties. He certainly was enjoying it. She furrowed her brows and inquired, "Kiba, what're you going to do when you reach the crotch?"


"Won't that be awkward?"

Kiba shrugged. "No."


"No," he said. With a dark grin that displayed his incisors, he added, "Not if I imagine these are your panties."

Before he could take back what he said, Sakura's fist connected with his cheekbone hard and fast. He fell to his side and groaned in miserable pain. He couldn't make out the words of her scoldings, but considering her tone, she was pissed. Very pissed. His heart was racing when she straddled him, grabbed his shirt and pushed his back against the ground.

"Take it back!" she demanded.


"That's so sick, Kiba! Even Naruto wouldn't say something like that. Eating the crotch of my panties? Eugh! God, have you no decency? Are you out of your mind?"

She was still going when Kiba curled an arm around her waist and yanked her down on him. She yelped and growled as if she were still pissed, but they both knew that she could have easily escaped if she wanted to.

"You know what, Sakura? I don't think I do have any decency. Yeah, you know, I think I am out of my mind." He was laughing despite the swelling at his cheek, and Sakura was scowling despite completely enjoying this physical contact.

"I maintain that that's really gross," Sakura mumbled in his ear. "Don't think of my underwear like that, please."

"Do your panties have feelings?"

"Kiba!" She balled her fist again, but Kiba's hand quickly enveloped hers.

"You don't need to punch me again," he said. "Really, you don't. Ahh, my cheek..."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled. "That's okay. I'm sure it'd feel a lot better if you kissed it."

Sakura snorted and rolled off of him so that she was on her back as well. With that, she couldn't wait to take a bath later in the evening. "Whatever. Get Akamaru to kiss it." Akamaru released a long breath through his nose behind them.

"No, I'm serious," Kiba insisted. "You're an attractive woman, and I'm an attractive man."

"Man? You sound like a school boy."

"You make me feel like a school boy, Sakura," Kiba said. She belted out in laughter. While she was distracted in her amusement, he got on his side and propped propped his elbows on either side of her. His face had sobered into all seriousness. He looked convincing even with his screwed up cheek.

When her laughing ceased, she looked at him without an idea of what expression to convey, herself. She unknowingly looked dumbfounded and curious, and because of how hot she'd been feeling, she couldn't feel her cheeks flare in anticipation.

"I never really took you seriously as a kid. We were acquaintances, and your focus was on Sasuke and following in Godaime's footsteps. And I was ambitious for other things, for my own reasons."

"What're you getting at?"

"I'm saying that since I've had to get to know you...," his smoothness was faltering, and he looked uncomfortable, too. "W-well, maybe I think you're... hot."


"No, not hot. Well, hot, but so many more things. Like, uh, you punch... good. And even though you make my life really difficult and extremely painful since we've been assigned the same squadron time and time again," he continued, "I like you. A lot."

With a sweet chuckle, Sakura propped herself on her elbows as well and pressed her lips against his swollen cheek. "I think I like you a little bit, myself, Kiba," she replied. "And I smell burnt fish."


"At least I don't smell a bucket of edible panties." She scooted out from under him and tossed the offensive garment in another direction. Kiba looked utterly relieved to have that stench escape the vicinity of his sensitive nose. "Here, let's go help them set up dinner."

Kiba obliged, but not without placing a forceful, playful kiss on her cheek, first. Now he could worry about other things.
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Hear This: Days -- FLOW -- Eureka Seven.
Paper: Naruto Kibalilmisfits8811 on February 17th, 2008 09:10 am (UTC)
Aww, I didn't expect you to play the edible panties in that way, but it was funny and I think I scared my cat when I started laughing so hard.